19 and engaged

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I am 19 and engaged.

And I am SO DANG thankful to God for this crazy and amazing adventure He has chosen to let me be apart of.

We are not promised a partner to do life with. We aren’t promised another person to love fiercely and dangerously and to have that love returned. We aren’t promised someone who is willing to serve the Lord along side us and to push us closer to Jesus as long as they live. We aren’t promised happiness on this earth and we aren’t even promised tomorrow.

Jesus died on the cross and carried the weight of the sin of the entire human race on his shoulders. THAT is the most amazing gift that could ever be given. There is nothing that compares. And that gift- His sacrifice- is enough.

Nothing good could ever happen to me again and God would still be SO SO good, because He saved me and set me free from the bondage of my emptiness in sin.My life could be a total disaster- and sometimes it seems like it is- but He would still be a perfect and loving God.

His grace just blows me away. I didn’t deserve His love, but he pours it on me anyway. I don’t deserve a man who loves me so well and who pushes me closer to Jesus and who cares about my purity and who strives to love God with all of his heart and mind and soul and strength.  I don’t deserve any of that. But God, in his insane grace, decided He wanted to give that to me.

Who am I to complain about the timing?

So what. Maybe it wasn’t my original plan, but praise GOD!! If my life had gone according to my own plans, how boring would that be? When I pictured my husband and getting married, sure, I may have pictured myself graduated from college and with a “stable” job, but where does that leave room for God to be glorified?

It doesn’t.

So instead, I get to fully rely on the Lord to provide. I get to glorify Him by obeying Him.

Culture says “wait until you’re 25 and financially stable”

The world says “you need to try out a bunch of other people to make sure you’ve really found the one.”

American culture has put all of these rules and boundaries on what a relationship should be like, but God has something so much better if we just trust His way.

People are gonna talk- they already are.

They are gonna call us crazy, they’ll say there’s no way we’re gonna make it.

But hey, everyone thought Jesus was crazy too.

From the outside looking in, He was just a homeless man, whose own hometown rejected him. He said “if the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first” (john 15:18).

If the world thinks we are crazy, I guess that means we are doing something right.

I don’t want to live a safe and easy life.

I want everyday to be an adventure.

I want to recognize my deep and desperate need for Jesus EVERY SINGLE DAY.

He has given me the opportunity to look different than the world, to be bold, and to follow Him. And I wouldn’t wanna be living any other way.

I’m so excited to get to start this adventure. To become more like Jesus by striving to die to myself every single day for another imperfect person. To live off of Hamburger Helper and Cheerios if that’s all we can afford. To truly understand that He is enough, that He is all we need. To get to see the Lord’s provision like never before. And to get to do it all with my best friend.

So, yes. I am young. And yes, it is going to be hard. I'm not going into this with any delusions as to that. But life is hard no matter what. I think that there is something so magical and powerful about loving someone fully and recklessly and without dependence on them returning that love. I did nothing to deserve the love of Christ. Absolutely nothing. But he loves me infinitely. I want to love like that. I'm gonna fail every single day. I will always fall perpetually short. I'll never be able to love Chase in a way that compares to that of Jesus Christ. But then that's where freedom steps in. Because we are both fully known and fully loved by our Creator we can be fully satisfied in Him rather than one another. That takes a lot of pressure off and gives me the freedom to love fearlessly with my whole heart. 

My heart is just so over- joyed and excited for this next stage in my life! Y’all, God is SO good and SO faithful. Surrendering and letting go of control with reckless abandon and just trusting in His ways and in His plan is the most freeing thing you could ever do.  His love is more than enough.

About a year ago, I sat in my dorm room, palms turned up, and I told God that I wanted my life to look different. I surrendered control and told Him to do whatever He wanted with my life. I prayed that prayer consistently. So, I'm not exactly shocked when a year later my life is TOTALLY different than I had planned. Granted, when I prayed that prayer I imagined myself dropping out of college and moving to Africa or the Middle East all by myself, living in a hut and doing ministry. That's not exactly what God had in mind though. I can just feel Him smiling down at me knowingly (He actually has a great sense of humor if ya didn't know). 

It's crazy what God will do if you just let Him. He continues to blow me away. I don't pretend to have it all figured out and I'm far from perfect. But I've learned that letting go of control, of really desiring God's will for my life above all else is so much sweeter than trying to do it my way. 

I've never felt more free than I do now. Or more loved.

I'm just so ready for this adventure. 

-Never been so free caught in your love for me. Never been more secure knowing Your heart, Lord.- 

(Joy,Housfires)

LINK TO ENGAGEMENT VIDEO: HTTPS://VIMEO.COM/159648822

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