Here I Am
5.24.16 | Hannah DiStasio
I was ready to respond, but no one asked for help.
I was ready to be found, but no one was looking for me.
I said, ‘Here I am, here I am!’ to a nation that did not call on my name.
Things become blurred so easily. Lines are blurred. Priorities are blurred. What really matters is blurred. Life itself goes so fast that it seems like a giant blur at times.
How do we make things clear again? How do we remember what possesses infinite value versus what is merely counterfeit? Culture creates an almost optical allusion that makes it increasingly difficult to discern the gravity of what’s really at stake here.
But then I read verses like Isaiah 65:1 and a weight of realization settles in. A giant, convicting, painful, but so beautiful and necessary weight. It settles on my heart and then sends little tingles all the way to the tips of my toes and fingers. That’s when I know Jesus is urging me to listen.
Originally, I read this and just kind of skimmed over it. But I was nudged back. I backtracked to read over it again. Then it clicked.
This verse is revealing the personality of our God.
It is such a beautiful and profound passage. The supreme King of the world is pleading. It demonstrates the side of Him that longs for us to seek Him. It displays the deep yearning He has for us to need Him. It shows His unparalleled humility and vulnerability.
Y’all. THAT IS INSANE. Almighty God humbling Himself and revealing His heart to us. I mean just let that settle in. I read it over and over and over again. Tears welling in my eyes as the realization of what it meant settled more heavily.
We are all made in God’s image. That is an insane blessing that we all received upon birth, whether we believe it to be true or not. And because we were made in the image of God we have certain characteristics ingrained in us (call it human nature if you will) that parallel that of our creator. One of those characteristics is the desire to be needed and the desire to be pursued.
Think about any relationship you’ve ever been in. Whether it be between parent and child, siblings, friends or a romantic relationship, we all have those almost instinctive desires. We long to be pursued and to be needed by those we are in relationships with. I’ll use the example of a romantic relationship. When we don’t feel sought after by our significant other, we begin to doubt their love. We become insecure if we don’t believe we are needed in some way. A relationship is not one sided.
Picture someone opening their arms up to embrace their significant other, but the other person just remains inanimate and doesn’t respond to the embrace. That hug just ain’t gonna happen! Or if it did, it would be a super awkward hug. A relationship- of any kind- requires effort on both sides.
Our relationship with Jesus is the same way. I know that in my head, but my heart often times forgets it. I picture my Beloved Savior with His arms out, beckoning me to come to him and me ignoring Him and it BREAKS my heart. But in reality, I do that daily. I daily choose other things over Him and over spending time with Him.
I forget, almost constantly, that He desires me to CHOOSE Him. That he LONGS for me to run into His arms. That He DELIGHTS in spending time with me and in knowing me. If that doesn’t move us into action I don’t know what will.
The fact that the Creator of the universe not only tolerates me, but also adores me and yearns to be sought after by me just blows my mind. And yet, I don’t prioritize Him. I prioritize things that are not eternal, like watching yet another episode of One Tree Hill, scrolling through Pinterest or hanging out with friends. And none of those are inherently bad things. It’s just sad that I absent- mindedly choose them over my Lord.
I then remind myself that He isn’t disappointed in me. That in His amazing grace He “knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust” (Psalm 103:14). Yet, I desire more than anything to pursue Him whole- heartedly. I want to constantly be looking for Him and to constantly be seeking refuge in His presence.
Another verse in Isaiah came to mind while reading this. In the very beginning of the book of Isaiah, God is speaking to him,
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"
And I said, "Here I am. Send me!"
I desperately want my life to look like this. For my heart to passionately follow after the Lord every day. No hesitations, no second thoughts. Just willingness.
It’s easy to become distracted. I mean we live in a society that is perpetually shoving things into our face that scream “THIS IS IMPORTANT” or “YOU NEED THIS” or “YOU SHOULD BE LIKE THIS” and so on. We have a choice though. We can choose to say no. We can choose to seek after the eternal. We can choose to seek after the Only One who will satisfy our hearts, whose arms are open, and who is pleading, “Here I Am.”